"I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned." I've never said that as an excuse for being fat, but I've had people say it to me, about me. Here is an article about bone size and relationship to obesity (there is none).
The fact is, although I am tall, my "frame" is on the small side. I took the wrist test in the article and the size of my wrist indicate small bones. My ring size is super small, and my feet are small as well.
So what does it mean when someone tells you, "Well you will never be thin, you are just big-boned."
It can translate several ways.
a) "I like being the thin one in our relationship, and I don't want to lose my identity."
b) "I'm afraid if you change you won't be my friend."
c) "I don't like seeing you achieve your goals, because it reminds me of how I am not achieving mine."
Another common comment, "Oh, you don't *look* --- pounds."
Does this sound like a compliment? I think it actually translates into a,b,c as well.
Yes, eating disorders are real, and people can be too thin, but that situation does not elicit comments about "big bones".
The fact is, whether positive or negative, what other people have to say about your weight is irrelevant. Obesity is so prevalent in our society that no one even knows what "normal" looks like anymore. A healthy weight is based on several factors, none of which are other people's eyeballs.
- Cathy Yonek
- Pittsburgh, PA, United States
- Four years ago I decided (age) 42 would be my magic number. I stepped on the scale for the first time in a LONG time. It was a BIG number, it was a SCARY number, but mostly I knew I had to own that number. I lost 40 pounds, leaving the obese category behind, and have maintained that loss. Now I am ready to take the next step, from Overweight to Normal, and then to Super-f'in-fantastic normal. You can read about it here.
Friday, March 7, 2014
When I was blogging consistently, I always had my official weigh in on Friday. Today I weighed in at 170.7 which is about 2.5 lbs lost since last Friday. Wow! Until I typed that, it didn't seem like a great loss, but 2.5 lbs in a week is pretty good. Original High Weight : 215 Current Weight : 170.7 Current Goal Weight : 150 I had a really solid week nutrition-wise, and am getting used to limiting sugar. I didn't work out quite as much as I would like to ideally but the two workouts with weights that I did do were really tough -- the first where I was training with my neighbor, who is super-fit, and athletic. I also hit the treadmill once at the gym. So to sum up -- good week!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Years ago I stumbled across Martha Beck's book "Finding Your Own North Star". I loved everything about the book, and could not get enough of her writing. Fast forward to 2012 when I decided to enroll in Martha Beck Life Coach Training, where I learned amazing things and met fabulous, smart people. I am still not certain that life coaching will ever be my full time career, but I am having fun playing around with ideas about life coaching people who are struggling with weight loss and wellness, as well as parents of children with learning disabilities -- situations with which I am well familiar. At some point I will have my own website, but in the meantime, I have created a Facebook page where I plan to post all sorts of random thoughts. You can find it here.
Who Says Facebook
Who Says Facebook
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
When it comes to weight loss, I believe 90% of success is in planning. Willpower and motivation will never take you through the long haul. You can't "discipline" yourself into a lasting solution. For me, a key part of meal planning is making sure I have enough portion-controlled healthy food to last me through the workday, so I don't end up buying a wrap from food service, or inhaling a 1/2 pound of cashews. I also like to do things the easy way, and although I have mixed feelings about overusing disposable plastic products, the sad truth is that I find packing plastic containers for work a nuisance. So my go to lunch is now dumping a bag of brown rice into a bowl, and eating it with cottage cheese. I guarantee you this is the WORST looking lunch ever -- a sickening combination of white and beige. But it is "real" food, a decent source of protein, low in sugar, and for some strange reason, I actually like it. I get tired of other protein sources like roast chicken, but I never get tired of cottage cheese.
Monday, March 3, 2014
I don't believe there is just one good way to lose weight. But I do believe that cutting back on sugar as much as possible can't fail you if you want to lose. For many years, I did not believe this. Why? Because I didn't want to give it up! It tasted too good, and quite honestly, I didn't think I was capable of cutting back, or eliminating the foods I loved. It was my addiction. And in the past few years, while I bounced around in my 10 pound comfort zone, I did indulge too much in sugar. In my revised diet plan, limiting sugar grams is my #1 goal. What that means is that I will be eating some foods very rarely, if at all. Some sound like "treats" and some do not. Nonfat Misto : only 60 calories, but at 8 g sugar, 20% of my daily allotment. Just not worth it. Biscotti : oh how I love them. Dry and crunchy is my thing. But at 14 g sugar for one (chocolate), fuggedaboutit Bagels : I will eat 1/2 whole grain bagel from Panera, at about 4 g sugar. Cinnamon crunch bagels (so delicious) are worse than a donut, at 31 g sugar. Yogurt : fruit yogurt is basically a dessert, and I can't fit it into my plan. Bananas : yes, fruit sounds healthy, but at 14 g sugar, I just don't like them that much to accommodate. Blizzard : actually I have not had one since I started losing weight, and may never have one again. The calories, fat and sugar far outweigh the taste, for me. Just not worth it. Pasta : this really isn't about sugar, or carbs. I just lost interest in it. It used to be something I thought I could not live without. I am allowing myself 6 oz wine per day, which I measure. That is my treat of choice. Today was a really good food day, with more than twice as much protein as sugar.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
I started this blog in 2014, knowing nothing except that the number on the scale was horrifying, and that if I kept going in the same direction I would be joining the ranks of the morbidly obese. Four years later, I still don't know much, except that nothing stays the same, and the more you learn the more you need to learn. What you need to learn probably doesn't have much to do with sugar grams or proper form for dead lifts, but more about your own self. Your own self can be damn scary. I will be posting more about my goals in the days to come, and my strategies, but I also see plan to transition to posts on broader topics as I delve more into Life Coaching -- thus the change of title to "Who Says".