About Me

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Pittsburgh, PA, United States
Six years ago I decided (age) 42 would be my magic number. I stepped on the scale for the first time in a LONG time. It was a BIG number, it was a SCARY number, but mostly I knew I had to own that number. I lost 40 pounds, leaving the obese category behind. In 2014 I committed myself to working out HARD and a low sugar diet, losing more weight and gaining nice definition. Then life happened, and I lost momentum, gaining some weight back. My goals now are different, and include completing my first ever marathon at age 48. GULP! You can read about the next part of my journey here.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Final Hot 100

I have neglected posting lately, but like everyone, I have had a very busy, yet fun filled, holiday.
So I will make time for a quickie post.

Hot 100 Goals:
1. Reach 40 lbs lost by Dec 31. Did not quite make this goal. I reached 36.5 lbs lost, and broke into the 170's though, and I am satisified with that. For now!
2. Lose body fat. This is where I feel I slacked off the most. Of course I did lose body fat, but my efforts on working out in December were abyssmal.
3. Eat clean. I have totally changed the way I eat. Yes, I have improvements to make, but compared to 6 months ago, I have moved 100% in a better direction.

2010 was a great year for me in many ways, and I fully expect 2011 to be even better.

Happy New Year to all my blog friends!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

170's, here I am

Today I woke up to 179 on the scale. I am very excited by that. After I had my first son, I was appalled to weigh in at 175 (this was the year 2000). I lost a little weight but then gained it back, plus more.

Now the only way is down! And because of working out, I think I look better on the way down, than I did on the way up, at the same weight. Either way it is a good way to end 2010. 36.5 pounds lost.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

New Low, and mini goal

I woke up to a new low today -- 180 lbs. It is just by .5 lbs, but at this time of year, I will take it.
Thursday is my birthday. I am pushing to get below 180 by that day. That would be pretty sweet -- on my 43rd birthday to be in the 170's for the first time since the year 2000.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Holding Steady

I am not setting the world on fire with weight loss, but I am holding steady at 35 pounds lost. Christmas shopping has put a more serious hurt on my broken toe. That plus holiday stressful schedule has led me to put exercise on hold for the most part.
I have had several good eating days though, I will be ready to refocus on losing in a couple of weeks.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

On the Road Again

Driving to Hazleton today to get my mom for the holidays. I have to pack my cooler. While I am willing to indulge over the holidays, I don't want to waste calories on rest stop junk.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Real Life, and Hot 100

I believe I could have reached a new low today, but instead last night I celebrated with co workers at a dinner at a hibachi restaurant. I had spicy tuna rolls, hibachi shrimp with some of the rice, miso soup and the salad with ginger dressing.
And 3 -- count them, 3! -- Manhattans.

We had so much fun, a lot of laughs, and yes, although celebrating is not all about food, it is a normal part of the human experience to celebrate with food. That is Real Life. I would count a once yearly dinner with friends as a true celebration. If you find yourself celebrating finishing grocery shopping with food, celebrating Friday with food, then you have lost the meaning of celebration, and in all honestly, as a society I feel that we are losing our grip on that concept.

Driving home (this was quite a while after the Manhattans!), I thought about how I was not going to reach my goal of 40 lbs lost by Dec 31, and I honestly felt very satisfied. Will not reaching that goal disrupt my long term weight loss? No way! The only real impact is that I cannot get on my high horse on my blog about losing a pound or two. I am now 20 lbs overweight (technically) and I know I will get into the healthy range sometime in the spring. How much further I go than that is up to me.

So here is my update:
1. Lose 40 lbs by Dec 31. It is looking like 35, although I cannot rule out a bit more.
2. Lose body fat. This is an area where I want to still make the most of 2010, and get more exercise in. December is terribly busy where I work, so I am feeling the time crunch.
3. Eat clean. I did a good job with this this week, albeit with a little more alcohol thrown in than is usual.

Enjoy your weekend!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

On the Menu

I usually do not post what I eat, but yesterday was so bad, I will post just for laughs.
I met my calorie goal, but what a way to do it.

Meal 1 : oatmeal, fruit, wheat germ, nuts, mini babybel (good start!)
Meal 2 : cottage cheese, nuts, sunflower seeds (still good)
Meal 3: nuts and green beans (not a meal)
Meal 4 : 2 pints beer (wtf?!?)
Meal 5 : protein bar

I went out with a friend, and by the time we got to the bar the kitchen was closed.

I think there is room for improvement today :)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

A dancer, I ain't

At karate today, I stepped on my own foot, and severely injured my 4th toe! I don't think it is broken, but it is bruised and black and blue, and hurts like hell. It turns out that 4th toe does come in handy for walking! If I had gotten injured sparring, it would have been a badge of honor. Stepping on yourself? Not so much.

Friday, December 10, 2010

The kindness of strangers ....

I have found a fantastic community of supporters out in blogland. Now I have invited my facebook friends to view my blog, if they so wish. Conversely, if you would like to friend my on facebook, you can find me at http://www.facebook.com/birchgirl.

Obsessive compulsive? A little.

Ok, after coffee, and a lovely bathroom moment, I am 180.5.
35 pounds lost, and I call it official!

Hot 100 Update

I am not quite where I wanted to be ...
I was hoping for 35 lbs lost, but I am at 34.5. I know, I know! Just 1/2 a pound. I will probably be at 180.5 tomorrow, for 35 lbs.

1. Lose 40 lbs by Dec 31st. This now seems a little more unlikely, but I should be very close, and I will be in the 170's for sure, where I have not been since the year 2000.
2. Eat clean. I had a good week with eating. I could tell by the fact that I was sick of food last night. Calorie-wise, I did great.
3. Lose body fat. I worked out with the trainer on Wednesday, and had a good session. I have been slacking on exercising on my own, but I am packing my bag right now so I can easily head to the gym right after work.

I will finish up 2010 as strong as I can!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Spotlight on me?!?

While I was working out with my trainer tonight, he told me they would like to establish a bulletin board at the gym, and have "spotlights" on different members. And they would like the first one to be me! Am I a show off? Do I like making a spectacle of myself? Hell yeah!
A super cool NSV!

New low, low stress holiday, the final stretch

I woke up to 181.5 today, which is a new low for me. 1 more pound will get me to 35 lbs lost. Yes, I like the 5 lb increments!

Every year, I simplify the holidays. I have given up a lot of stuff I used to do, including sending Christmas cards. The number of gifts I buy is minimal, as I no longer exchange with friends, or extended family. I still enjoy decorating, and cookie baking. No, I won't eat the cookies, I will bring them to work. The praise for my homemade cookies builds my ego. They are pretty! Also, we have a holiday party in between Christmas and New Year's.

I plan to make the most of the last 3 weeks of 2010 to get as close to 40 lbs lost as possible.

While I know it is important to not medicate stress with food, I also know it is essential to determine what is important to you to reduce stress. I need more "downtime" than most people. I have always been happy just hanging out, reading, thinking. I am a true introvert. With 2 kids and a high stress job, I get very little downtime. But I need to carve out as much as possible for myself. I need it. It is pointless for me to say to myself, "suck it up". If I don't get what I need I cannot achieve my goals, weight loss or other. Sure, there are some things you cannot change, but more things that you can.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Failure to Plan

Is planning to fail, as they say.
I have been diligent about tracking my food through myfitnesspal, but not so diligent about planning ahead for the day, and therefore going over the calorie limit I need to hit to lose weight at my goal rate. I will still probably lose weight, even with what I am eating, but too slow for my tastes.

This problem is easy enough to address, and I will, and I am!

I took the day off to spend some time by myself ... I don't get much of that, and boy oh boy. I love it!

Sunday, December 5, 2010


I have been lax with adding pictures.
Someone tagged me in a photo on facebook, and I thought A-HA. Perfect "before" picture, as I look ginormous. More to come.


Regrouping is what I am doing.
I am not starting fresh, because I don't believe in that. Sure every day is a new day, but there are no clean slates, in my experience.
I have been holding steady at 182 for the past week, but losing mojo. I don't want to fizzle out in this last month of 2010. I have lost 33 lbs in 5 months, and am fairly pleased with that, but will not be satisfied to just be in a hold pattern until 2011. If I do not reach my goal of 40 lbs lost by Dec 31, I can live with it, but I KNOW I can at least get to the 170's.

My malaise has really nothing to do with the holidays (except maybe that the holidays bum me out a little lately). I think it is just boredom, winter weather, and so on.

Last night, I went to the gym and worked out on the treadmill, in a pretty intense session. That was a good move, because it energized me. And although I went over calories for the day, I ate a lot of raw veggies last night, with very low cal eggplant dip, and that refreshed me, because I have been lacking in the veggie department lately. My brother in law is visiting and we had a lot of laughs with him, and that was fun.

Today I woke up and had a whey protein shake. I am committing myself to make progress in December. Commitment is a process.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Fighting Vainly the Old Ennui

Feeling kind of down today. I won't go into the reasons why, they really are not earth shattering. Just life I guess.
I need to fight inertia and get to the gym tonight, as that is one of the few things that tends to lift my spirits.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Hot 100

Well my low this week was 182, just .5 lb less than last week.

I am a little disappointed, but no choice except to keep plugging away.

1. Lose 40 lbs by Dec 31. Still possible.
2. Lose body fat. Trainer will measure me next Wednesday.
3. Eat clean. Have done way better with this the past few days. Still need to incorporate more veggies.

Happy Friday everyone! So ready for the weekend this go round.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Slippy Slide

Several times in my weight loss journey over the past 6 months, I have reached a point where I feel like I could backslide, in a big way, at any time. This is one of those moments.

I ate pretty generously on Thanksgiving, which I planned for. I did not eat leftovers, however, I got sloppy for several days. Going over on calorie counts, and not balancing my meals and foods properly. Really, I have not had an ideal day since last week.

Time to dig deep, as they say. I have gotten past these moments before.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Calendar Challenged

In my last post I said I needed to lose 1 lb per week plus 1 lb to reach 7 more lbs lost by Dec 31.
As I was walking at the track today I realized ..... there are 5 weeks left to 2010, not 6! Ok, it is a fairly trivial difference, but I hate to not be dead on with numbers.
So far this year I have lost an exact average of 1.5 per week from June 25 -Nov 25. My obsessive compulsive brain loves that, especially since that is my goal rate.

To get to 40 lbs lost by Dec 31 I need to lose an average of 1.4 lbs per week, still not too intimidating.

Hot 100, a little late

Since I am not in it for prizes, I will keep updating on Hot 100.

1. Eat Clean - well, quite honestly I have been doing super crappy with this the past few days. I ate a lot on Thursday. Other days not so much, but still not the best choices.
2. Lose 40 lbs by Dec 31 - I guess it is an early Christmas miracle because I am at 182.5, same weight I was on Thursday and 33 lbs lost. 40 seems very reachable -- I need to lose 1 lb per week, plus 1 lb extra overall.
3. Lose body fat - my exercise has been pretty good, but I would like to step it up a little between now and Christmas, especially in working out with weights.

Friday, November 26, 2010

If you were in there, you would want to come out

Scale-wise, I am up 2.5 lbs, but I bet at least .5 lb of that is gas!

Actually I feel pretty good today, and calorie wise I know I only ate enough extra yesterday to maybe gain .5 lbs of fat.
Now I am drinking my water and brewing my coffee, I will have oatmeal for breakfast.

Alas, it is a work day for me, so I will be off to work.

No shopping. I hate shopping, let alone on this kind of day!

Enjoy your day.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, Thanksgiving is all wrapped up.

Woke up at 182.5, which was awesome.

Breakfast : 1/2 Hearty Grain bagel, 2 scrambled eggs, 2 tsp natural peanut butter (about 320 calories)

Snacks : cashews, a few veggie chips, cocktail shrimp, cheese and whole grain crackers, raw veggies and hummus

Dinner : turkey and gravy, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean salad, stuffing (1 plateful). Went back for a bit more stuffing. Small slice of apple pie, and small serving of pistachio ice cream.

About 12 oz white wine over the course of the day.

About 3 jelly belly jelly beans (kids had late night snack of toast, popcorn, pretzel sticks and jelly beans a la Charlie Brown Thanksgiving).

Ended the day at the gym, worked on arms and shoulders, plus a little bit on the treadmill.

The good news is I feel completely satisfied as far as Thanksgiving food goes. There are leftovers, but I won't be eating them. It is pretty damn uncomfortable to eat a big meal when you are used to so much less. Back to plan tomorrow.

Killer workout

Leg workout with my trainer last night was an ass kicking session. I was drenched in sweat. First time ever I weighed less at the end of the day than at the beginning. And today I am 1.5 lbs down from yesterday. Wow, thankful!
On to lots of water drinking.

Happy thanksgiving everyone!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

New low!

Weighed in at 184 today. 9 more lbs to get to my 2010 goal of 175. My new "skinnier" pants are falling off me. I am going to enjoy my food tomorrow, but also get in double exercise session, and watch portions. Very busy day ahead, as I am sure it is for all of you.
Will breathe deep!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Attitude Adjustment

Starting this week off feeling more positive than I have in a couple of weeks.

1. I hit 185 on the scale. Sure it is only .5 lbs less than yesterday, but I really hate not being a whole number!
2. TMI, but after the stomach problems last week, my poop schedule was really off. Back on track, and boy oh boy that makes you feel better.
3. The kids and I are off to Hazleton PA to pick up my mom to bring her out for the Thanksgiving holiday. I love Thanksgiving! No icky shopping.

Have a great weekend! I will keep up to date with my wonderful iPhone.


Friday, November 19, 2010

Hot 100 Update

I have been terrible about blogging lately. I really need the Thanksgiving break! I am not cutting corners on the weight loss efforts, but just feeling very low energy.

Hot 100:

1. Lose 40 lbs by Dec31. I was at a new low this week of 185.5, which is 30 lbs lost! I can still reach 40, or at least close to it.
2. Eat Clean. I have been doing very well with this this week.
3. Lose body fat. I am not sure what % I will be at at the end of the year, but I am going in the right direction. I had a good workout with Tony on Wednesday - arms. I need to get a little better with fitting in the other 2 weight workouts weekly on my own. Tonight I will head to the gym for some cardio.

Happy Friday!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Keep On Keepin' On

Well, I am feeling a little bit better.
Work is a drag, but I guess that is why they call it work.

My eating has been pretty good the past couple of days. Sunday was an excellent water day, Monday not so great, but still good by my standards.

Hopped over to gym last night at 8:30 to get on the treadmill and work out some angst. It helps!

Today I am mixing up some bulgur wheat salad to take to work. The fresh flavors really perk up my palate and are a nice change from same ol, same ol.

Tomorrow I am going to finally post some pics here.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Rotten Week ; Belated Hot 100

What an awful week.
I had increasing stomach pain as the week went on, and I finally tied it to the soy protein I have been putting in my smoothie each morning. Soy can cause stomach problems for some people. So I will be foregoing the smoothie for now. I may try whey protein in a couple of weeks, but I will probably stick to 2 or 3 protein smoothies per week, instead of daily.
Work was frustrating.
I have barely been drinking water.
Yesterday I started coming down with a cold.
Not only have I not posted, I haven't been reading posts. It was just one of those weeks where you get sick of everything.

I missed my Hot 100 update, but since I am not doing it for a prize, I will continue tracking this until the end of the year.

1. Lose 40 lbs by Dec 31. I hit a new low of 186 on Friday. Since I was not feeling well, it did not give me the "feel good" rush. Today I am up a horrible 3 lbs after going to a makeup party last night and eating a bunch of dips. I know it is not real weight, but still. So not worth it.
2. Body fat - I think getting to 33% body fat by the end of the year is not likely, but I have dropped from 41% to 38.69%, so going in the right direction.
3. Eat Clean. Eh. I am doing ok with this. I am bored with what I am eating. I need to put a little effort into creating some variety in my diet while following the plan.

So there it is. Today I will stick to my calorie limit, and get in my water quota.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

DDD Champ

Thanks Allan for the award.
I actually have been doing a piss poor job the past couple days with drinking water; hence I piss poor. Need to step up on that.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

No complaints here.

Well, I am finishing up DDD challenge at 187. My goal was 186, but I am still happy with 187.
Math was my strong subject in school, yet I had to sit down to figure out that if I stay at exactly the same rate of loss that I have had since June 26, I will be exactly where I want to be on Dec 31. That rate is 1.5 lbs per week, so it is not excessively high.
As of Friday there were 56 days left in 2010, 8 weeks.
If I lose 1.5 lbs per week, that is 12 lbs, which gets me exactly to 175.
Even if I only lose 1 lb per week, I am still at 179, and getting to the 170's would be super sweet.

I am exactly 28 lbs down and if I lose 28 more lbs I will be at 159, which takes me out of the overweight category, so I am halfway there.

I am a little fuzzy on my final goal. Before I got married I weighed 135, which is in the lower half of standard healthy range for my height. However, with muscle mass from weight training, I think I could be more fit and look better with even a few pounds more than that. I am thinking a range of 135 - 142 seems reasonable.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Hot 100 Friday

I am 187.5, down 1.5 lbs from last Friday. I was hoping for 186 for the DDD challenge, but it is unlikely I will reach that by Monday, Still a loss is a loss! Keeping in the calorie limit has been fairly easy -- only went over one day. The water is still a struggle for me, but I am working on it. I have given up artificial sweeteners because I think they are not good for me, so it is plain water or nothing. I have not given up coffee, because that would be insane. Sometimes I drink plain hot, green tea.

Hot 100 Goals:

1. Lose 40 lbs by Dec 31. Realistically to do this, I will need to be 182 by then end of November. That will be a stretch I think, but possible.
While I am not giving up on this goal, I would also be quite happy with 36 lbs, which would take me to the 170's, a place I have not been since 2000.
2. Get down to 33% body fat. The trainer will measure me next week.
3. Eat clean 90 % of the time. I keep saying I need to post about my eating plan, and never do it. I eat way better than I did two months ago, but lots of room for improvement, still.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Bloggity Blog

Don't have much to say, but it is time for a post.
Drank 67 oz of water before 7 PM today, which is great for me. I have been having trouble sleeping lately, so the last thing I need is to have to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

I have been staying within my calorie limit for DDD challenge, except for last Friday.
Today I consumed 130 g of protein, but I ate way more meat than really I am comfortable with; however it was low fat.
Monday night I did legs with the trainer, and seriously I nearly passed out. Wow.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

New low!

Woo hoo, woke up to 187.5 today on the scale.

Reaching my DDD goal of 186 seems well within reach.

Reaching 182 by end of November also is possible.

myfitnesspal lowered my calorie allotment, but for now I will pretty much do what I have been doing.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Treats

Well, Halloween is over, and I had two official treats.

1. I ate a chocolate caramel candy on Friday, after I f'ed up a project. It was for decorative purposes only -- Rob Pattinson on the wrapper, on whom I have a adolescent-like crush. I ate the decor.

2. A mini biscotti today, about 45 calories. It had oatmeal & such in it, but sugar of course, which is not on plan.

When we came in from trick or treating I had a powerful urge to snack. Not on candy, but on savory treats and wine, as that had been our post trick or treat tradition in the past.

Alas, this year, a handful of homemade roasted pumpkin seeds sufficed.

Do I miss our old tradition? Hell YEAH. In fact, when I think about what indulgences I will have after reaching my goal, there are few that seem worth it. But next Halloween, I will be having a glass of wine, and a salty cheesy (portioned) snack.

Bon Appetit

This is something I insist on, on my journey to a lower weight and better health. I must enjoy my food.
Now, you may argue "hey, enjoying food is what got us to fat!"
With this I must disagree. When I was shoveling food in my mouth to the point of feeling sick I was NOT enjoying food. I might have been enjoying the feeling of numbness achieved through overeating, but I was not really enjoying the food itself, at least not more than the first one or two bites.

Here are some ways I enjoy my food.

1. I bought colorful plates and cutlery at Target to bring to work. I felt guilt about using disposable, and I really love eating my veggie burger on my red plate, or my cottage cheese out of my nicely shaped bowl.
2. I will NOT eat food I dislike, I don't care how good it is for you. When I go to a restaurant, I will stick to my budget, but not by eating something I consider mediocre.
3. My older son gets on his bus at 6:40 am, and younger son wakes up about 7:20. In that 50 minutes I make time to prepare a healthful, delicious breakfast, and I spend time enjoying eating it.

How about you? What do you do to enjoy your food?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Ready for a good week

Drank 64 oz of water by 8 PM. Stuck to 1400 calories (even with a trip to Red Lobster), plus burned a few calories at the track.

Last week sucked, but tomorrow is Halloween,and I am revving myself up for a positive week. By Friday I want to see 187 on the scale. I know that is possible.

A Wasteful Society

Deb's post got me thinking. What I say is no criticism of her, because her decision is well thought out, and sensible. She has decided to give out mini pinball games for Halloween, rather than candy, because she doesn't want a trigger food around, and does not want to give junk to kids that she does not eat herself. And that makes a lot of sense. We are giving out mini candy bars, same as always. My husband got them a few weeks ago at a good price. They have been sitting in the basement since then.

Here is my issue. Our kids (and ourselves!) are so inundated with junk of both the food and non food variety, that for "special" occasions like Halloween it is hard to think of something that is truly a treat.
When I was a kid (back in the year 1), getting those mini candy bars on Halloween was like a dream come true. Sure, I had candy other times of year -- I would go to the corner store to buy candy with my friends, but we never had candy just laying around the house. Candy was truly a treat. When I went to college and could have soda every night at dinner, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Soda was a sign of a very special event in our house.

Now, there is candy around 24-7. We still have chocolate bunnies from Easter! I don't eat candy (even when I was at my highest weight I didn't) and even my kids cannot eat the amount of candy that comes in the house through 1) holidays, 2) treat bags at school, 3) ???? We immediately throw out things like Skittles and rock hard taffy that no one would ever think of eating. Eventually we throw out other stuff too.

They get a ton of non food junk from 1) parties, 2) school, 3) ????, much like the mini pinball games, and that goes directly in the trash.

The love to go trick or treating. Who wouldn't? Dressing up is so much fun, and getting the treats and then looking at them later is a blast.

What is the point of this post? I am not sure. I think I am just sad that we, as a society, have become so jaded with stuff. Filling up your life with junk food or junk objects seems very much the same to me, although the health consequences of the former is obviously different. I am no better than anyone else, as evidenced by what we throw in the trash, clearly as a result of choices I make. 20 years ago I moved to Louisiana from Pennsylvania to get my PhD. I could fit everything I owned in the back of my car. I look back that with a sort of longing now.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Welcome to my Pity Party

Went over my calorie goals today, via a bit of a feeding frenzy on baba ghanouj and pita.
I was indulging in some self pity today. It has been a hard week, and unfortunately work was a bit of cluster today as it has been all week. Nothing really earth shattering, just not the smoothest week.
Also, when I meet a "round number" goal, such as 200 or 190 I have needed to give myself a stern talking to ----do I want this, or not? There is no in between.

I am planning to stick to 1200 calories per day for the remainder of the week. It is not that I think pita will be my doom, but I don't want to get sloppy about this either.

I am going to finish up my water and go to bed soon. We have karate tomorrow, and I am still so damn stiff from my leg workout that I am dreading it a little.

Friday : The Crappy and the Happy

Good morning all.

It has been a mixed bag kind of week.

1. Work was a struggle. It just seemed like all my projects took a major dump on themselves.
2. Yesterday I had an awful headache.
3. I have been weirdly bloated for no clear reason.
4. I did not meet my water goal yesterday.
5. I am really sore from leg workout, as in hard to bend and sit on the toilet.

1. It is Friday!
2. I met my calorie goals each day.
3. My guitar lessons are going well. I might actually play a song soon.
4. I love Halloween. We always have candy in the house and I never eat it, so that is no big deal to me.
5. Today I weighed at 189. Probably 1st time below 190 in over 7 years.

Hot 100:
1. Lose 40 lbs total by Christmas. I can still do this, but it won't be easy! I have 14 lbs to go. Ideally I will be very close to 180 by end of November, to reach 175 by Dec 31.
2. Get down to 33% body fat. Trainer will pinch my fat next week.
3. Eat clean 90% of the time. More or less this is true. I have tweaked my plan but did not post about it yet.

Enjoy the Halloween weekend!


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hang in there

When I first started counting calories, I had a 1500 calorie limit. That seemed SO low. I really had trouble sticking to it, and often did not. I still lost weight, because even a little bit of calorie counting helps when you are 215 lbs.

It has gotten so much easier. Today I had 500 calories left at 7 o'clock. I ate some hummus and whole grain crackers, and egg and cottage cheese. Getting to 1440 now takes work!

I am not saying that I will never go over my calorie limit again, or that every situation will be easy. But if you are just starting out, and it seems really difficult to not go over calorie-wise, stick to it. It is all just habit, and as your habits change, you will too!

Sorry no cute picture of a kitten to go with my title :(

Smoothie Success

Taking advice from yesterday, I used soy protein powder in a smoothie this morning. I was avoiding that because I hate cleaning the stupid blender.
It was good! I used 1 cup almond milk, 1/2 scoop powder, 1/2 banana, 3/4 cup mixed frozen fruit. That plus oatmeal and wheat germ was a VERY Filling breakfast. More calories than I usually allot for breakfast, but it kept me full a long time, so I will eat less calories during the day. And, my trainer should be happy with my protein intake.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Inquiring Minds

I know. You are dying to know what kind of perfume I bought as a reward for leaving the Obese category.
Since I had a 10% discount at Target, I bought Faith Hill's Blue. Her other stuff smells like old ladies to me, and although old age is getting closer and closer, I don't want to smell like it yet.
I really want Pure DKNY but will probably ask for it for my birthday, in December. It is not sold at Target.

Challenge Update

Well, I am done eating, and am at around 1480 calories, which is fine.
I will get my water in.
It is not easy for me to drink water first thing in the morning, but it was very easy to down 20 ounces on the way to work in the car. So I just have to figure at my prime guzzling times. Also, although ice cold water tastes good, it takes me forever to drink it. So I am better off with room temp.

Once 64 oz is easy, I am going to work up to 90 oz.

Protein Powder : an abomination upon the Earth

My trainer has been nagging me to eat more protein at breakfast, and to try protein powder. So I broke down and bought chocolate soy protein. I tried it in oatmeal yesterday. Yuck. So today I mixed it in almond milk, and I thought I would puke.

Is there anyway to make this stuff palatable? I am only using 1/2 scoop for now. I like real food, but I have a hard time getting the kind of protein at breakfast he recommends. I just have no appetite for it. I have no problem telling him FUGEDDABOUTIT! But I thought it was worth a try.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Eminem; Calories; Check Mark

Here are 3 things that made me happy today.

1. I am really digging the song "Love the way you lie" by Eminem and Rihanna. I love finding new music that I like.
2. My calories were right on target today, coming in around 1420 calories, plus I burned about 270 at the gym, for a net of 1200. I drank 64 oz of water, although it was not easy, as it is not a habit for me.
3. At my son's school, they are given check marks for negative behaviors, and check marks for good behaviors (on different papers). Today he received a "good" mark for helping another boy with math. I am feeling very positive about the decision we made to switch schools.

New challenge

Sure, I will take Allan's challenge.

My goal calories will be 1540, or less.
The 64 oz of water will be tough, it is a hard habit for me, even when water is sitting right next to me.

Today I am 191, up a pound from Friday, too much salty food over the weekend, although I did not reach even 1400 cal yesterday. In two weeks I would like to be 186.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Perception vs Reality

This is a hectic weekend.
I drove to Hazleton, PA from Pittsburgh on Thursday, and back again, to bring my mom and aunt out for a visit. My dad died in 2009, and my mom (who is 81) does not drive.
I was very proud of myself on Thursday for sticking to my eating plan through a 10 hour drive. I packed a cooler of healthy snacks, so I would not have to eat junk at the rest stops.... a non fat misto at starbucks sufficed. I woke up to a good weight on Friday.
Now I am feeling that I jacked up Friday night. But did I? I had a 1/2 glass of white wine, with my aunt. I had homemade whole wheat veggie pizza, which I have every Friday. I had 1/4 of a raisin cookie, and I think that is what is really bothering me! No, raisin cookies are not on my plan, but I am usually not the self flagellating type, and far from a perfectionist. So why is the raisin cookie buggin'? The perception that I really fell off the proverbial wagon does NOT match reality. By documenting it here, I hereby let it go.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Weigh in day, new milestone!

Woke up to 190 lbs today, which is 25 lbs lost! That was my goal for this week, so I am happy to meet it. By October 31st, I want to be 188. That will put me on the path for 40 lbs lost by Dec 31.

Hot 100 goals:

1. 40 lbs by Dec 31 : on my way!
2. Eat clean 90% of the time. I did well this week. I am going to be tweaking my plan a bit, and will post about that later.
3. Get to 33% body fat by Dec 31. The trainer will pinch me next week so I will have a measure, but I have been exercising quite a bit. Still sore from lunges and squats the other day.

I hope you all are having a good Friday too!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Don't Have a Damn Thing To Say

But I will post anyway.
Hi out there!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Numbers, again

I have lost 2 inches from my waist since I first measured, going from 41 inches to 39. I don't really measure anywhere else, mostly because I don't feel like I know what I am doing. The belly button is hard to miss, so the waist measurement is difficult to screw up. Also, I figure if I am losing weight in my waist, I am probably losing it other places.
In 16 weeks I have lost 24 pounds, which is exactly 1.5 lbs per week average, my goal. Of course I did not lose exactly 1.5 lbs each and every week. I gained only once, after vacation, and maintained other weeks. But still, I have to say I am pretty satisfied with my efforts so far.
I weigh every day, but moving forward I am only going to update myfitnesspal 1) on Fridays no matter what, to keep me accountable and 2) any other time I have a loss, because it is never a bad time to gloat!
My long term goal fits neatly into one year, at 1.5 lbs loss per week average I can reach approx 138 lbs by July 1, 2011. I felt like I was destined to be fat, but now I believe that victory in the war against fat is mine to be had. I know it will not get easier, and there are plateaus lurking ahead, but for each problem, there is a solution, although the solution may be hard to swallow, literally and figuratively.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Overweight, at last

Well, one day late, but today I reached my goal of 191, which officially takes me out of the obese category, and into the overweight.
When I told my husband that, he said "what?" because he really didn't know I was "obese". And in all honesty I really did not feel obese. Partially because of the unfortunate number of morbidly obese people in America, but also because I never felt like I was not able to do daily stuff. For example, I would read that someone my age/weight/height was not able to play with their kids. That was never true for me. I would play with the kids, run and walk at the track, do karate. I was also very fortunate to have good numbers with cholesterol, etc. But, at 42 years old, my luck could run out any day.
So although obesity was not ruining my life in an obvious way, I am more than glad to have it behind me. I may see 192 again this week, but never again after that
Now, I am going to recind my decision to not buy perfume. I reached 191 AND I have a 10% off card for Target. That my friends, is fate.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Right Direction, but Goal Unmet and Hot 100

My goal was to be 191 today, which would put me out of the obese category, technically. Instead I am 192, which is 1 lb down from last week. So I am foregoing my "reward" of new perfume, and instead focusing on my new goal, which is to be 188 by Oct 31. When I reach 185, I will reward myself, no matter what date I hit it.

Hot 100

1. Eat Clean 90% of the time. If I had done this, I would be 191 (I was 191.5 yesterday). Enough said.
2. Lose a total of 40 lbs by Dec 31. No reason this still cannot happen.
3. Get down to 33% body fat. Although I had an "eh" week with food, I had a really excellent exercise week. I worked my metaphorical ass off, although my literal ass remains firmly in place. Including really tough karate workout, several times on treadmill, walking at the track, roller skating, cycling, and of course working out with weights.

I cannot be really specific with dates, but it has been a LONG time since I was below 190, definitely before my younger son was born, and he is 7. So it will be a huge milestone for me to move into the 180's. I have to say I don't "feel" obese anymore. Most days I feel pretty damn good in fact, which was my number one motivation for weight loss.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I have a score of followers ... 20! I know it is not a competition, but it still exciting. Working from home this afternoon, and looking forward to working out with trainer tonight (chest & back).

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Mad about Mashed Potatoes

And I mean "mad" both ways.
1. I am crazy about mashed potatoes. Love 'em!
2. I am mad that I ate them at lunch today.

Normally I don't waste time fuming about a food I ate, it is hardly profitable. However, it truly has been awhile since I ate an off plan food on a whim. Yes, I might have a glass of wine on the weekend, or whatever, but it is not spur of the moment.

Today I went out to lunch with friends (I do that once per week at most). I looked up the nutrition info for Eat N Park before we went, found a meal with protein and a veggie (well iceberg lettuce which tastes like crap, but low cal) that I could eat for 453 calories .. a reasonable amount, since restaurant lunches fill me up until dinner, and I bypass my mid afternoon snack.

Then instead of saying "neither" when asked "fries or mashed", I said "mashed". I know the word "neither", I have used it quite a bit lately in restaurants. Oh, they were good! But not 300 calories worth of good (I looked up the calories after lunch).
No, I won't tear my clothes or gnash my teeth over the incident, but I will remember how rotten I felt about it.

I made a comeback with dinner though.
1 chicken breast with eggplant dip (very low cal, no sugar)
1 serving spoon of whole wheat bowties with anchovy sauce

Here's to a mashed potato-free day tomorrow!

Sunday, October 10, 2010


I am passing on the blogger award to Shane and the 330 Pound Woman.

I really look forward to reading Shane's posts each day. He is upbeat, but always honest; successful, but humble.

The 330 Pound Woman (sorry I don't know her name!) was one that inspired me to start my own blog. I don't see alot of activity on her blog lately, but I am hoping for more!

These are blogs that inspire me.

The rules are to pass this award on to 2 people and to mention 2 things you would change about yourself.

What I would change:

1. I wish I didn't like sleep so much! Then I could do more.
2. I wish I was a good singer. I am quite horrible at singing.


To Debbie for the award! I will pass it on later today.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Found this on Shrinking Kenz's site, and liked it.

1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?

My highest recorded weight was 215.5, but there were many years where I did not weigh myself. I weigh 193 right now. My goal is 138-143.

2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?

I want to feel good, and look good. I want to do something extraordinary in a world full of mediocre.

3. Have you always been overweight?

I started getting "chubby" around 4th grade. I was very heavy (probably > 215 lb) my sophomore year of college. I lost a lot of weight in grad school, and my lowest weight then was 135. I have been thin maybe a total of 2 years of my adult life. But when I was "slightly overweight" for many years, I still felt pretty good.

4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?

I am 42. I don't have forever to resolve this.

5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?

Getting a tattoo!

6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?

Yes! From husband and friends.

7. What is your favorite exercise?

I need the weights, but I love walking/running at the track with my iPod. I feel free.

8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?
Most of the things we think are "true" are not.

9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?

I have given up sugar, for the most part and don't miss it. I gave up diet pepsi (have one per week), and I miss that at work.

10. What is your strategy for losing weight?
Eat clean. Watch Calories. Exercise like I mean it.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Happy Friday! Happy Hot 100!

I felt like I was in a Special K commercial today. I stepped on the scale, met my goal of 193 for the week, and said woohoo!

Hot 100

1. Lose total 40 lbs by Dec 31st. On target!
2. Eat clean 90% of time. Good to go
3. Fat % loss. I am not measuring this weekly but am working out with trainer.

Wish everyone else success.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Scale Talk

So glad to see 194 on the scale today.
I know there is controversy about how often to use a scale.
Even when I don't like the number on it, I am a BIG fan of the scale.
To me, it is an essential tool of accountability. How easy is it to ignore clothes growing tighter? Very easy, in my experience.

I weigh every day, but I don't think that frequency is necessary. I don't get upset if I see a small gain/maintain on a daily basis, because I know the scale fluctuates for all kind of reasons (and I don't post about it, because it really isn't news), but if I don't see what I am looking for for 4,5,6 days, well then I know it is time to re evaluate what I am doing.

If you see a higher number on the scale, and you give up, the problem isn't the scale.
Ok, I know I am getting preachy here, but I really believe this, and I really really want to succeed, and want all of you to succeed too.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Too many cooks spoil the broth

I posted today about how I am stuck in neutral, and a couple of people gave some helpful comments, which I appreciate.
However, I don't really think I hit a plateau yet.
I did a dumb thing ... changed what was working.
I had been counting calories, and transitioning to a "clean" diet as well.
When I started working with a trainer, he recommended his eating plan, which is also "clean" but he recommends a LOT of protein, and more calories than I am really comfortable with.
Anyway, I kind of wavered between his plan and mine, ended up getting really pissy one night because I was shoving so much protein into me, and then did not track well at all.
So, to sum up, I am back to my original plan. I know I will need to tweak it at some point, and I am tracking grams of protein/fat/carbs through myfitnesspal,so I can make adjustments as needed.
My trainer looks awesome and I believe he (mostly) knows what he is talking about, but for now his exact plan is not right for me.

Also got some good cardio in tonight, and starting to feel verrrrrry sleeeeepy.


The same thing is happening as the last time I met a mini goal. I am "stuck" --- this time hovering around 195-196.
As with last time, I need to ask myself, Do I want to be fat, or not? There really is no in between.
I can still meet my next mini goal if I start making progress now. If I drag on like this a few more days, I will not.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Turkey, served cold

There are many paths to losing weight that can be successful ... counting calories, eliminating sugar, etc. I know "Intuitive Eating" is a highly controversial subject around the blogworld. Although I do not follow that methodology, I have found some useful concepts in Geneen Roth's work. Here is a quote from her that I do like. "Sometimes the difference between hunger and satisfaction is 2 bites." You know what? It OFTEN is.
I always was a stubborn girl (get that from the Italian side of the family I think). I always said I "should" be able to lose weight and still eat sugar, drink wine, and all that. And I do honestly believe that you can lose weight and eat junk.
But .... I cannot overemphasize the benefits of cutting out sugar and processed foods from your diet for just one week.
Since cutting out sugar, my energy never flags, even during extremely boring afternoons at work. The best part is how I have found out that I don't even like alot of the crap I ate. Quite frankly, if I never have ice cream again, I hardly care. Ditto donuts, cookies, chocolate bars. With a few exceptions, I don't plan to eat desserts until I reach my goal weight. The exceptions include apple and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving .. I make fantastic pies, and I am not humble. And I will eat cake on three birthdays : my own, and my two kids... as those were the births I was actively involved in!
Alas, I do like booze, and will make room for one drink weekly.
So I am not cold turkey entirely, but the turkey is pretty chillin'
We are so brainwashed to believe we like all the shit that Americans eat. Give it a week, and you may find that for 95% of it ... you can take or leave it.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Pissed Off and Hot 100

Pissed off that I followed my crappy eating plan so well this week and I am up 1 lb. I know weight loss is not all (metaphorical) lollipops and ice cream cones, but I wanted to see at least a maintain this week.
Oh well, back to the drawing board.

For the Hot 100:

1. Achieve total loss of 40 lbs, to reach 175 by December 31st. UPDATE : I have no doubt I will lose 20 more lbs in 3 months.

2. Eat Clean 90% of the time. UPDATE : All good

3. Work out with trainer to go from 41% body fat to 33% body fat. UPDATE : I AM on my way to fat loss. In a week and a half I lost 3 lbs of fat and gained a lb of muscle, according to trainer (Sept 17 -29)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I lost my pants!

Not really.
But do have a NSV of having my jeans sliding off me.
I was too sick to workout this weekend, and no way in hell was I going to go shopping (a much-hated activity - even when I was thin).
But I got my 30% coupon at Kohl's to burn, so it looks like a good shopping weekend.
Also need to kick it up a notch if I want to reach my next goal in my timeframe ... lots of exercise coming my way. I can accept one week of maintenance after reaching a goal, but anything more than that is a recipe for giving up.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Post workout

Said ass was kicked.

woohoo it's Monday!

And I feel *almost* normal
We are getting some much needed rain in Western PA
My trainer will kick my ass tonight

What 3 things are good for you today?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Eating when you are sick

I found it really challenging to eat "clean" with a cold/sinus infection/drippy throat. The thought of protein and veggies was sickening. The thought of fruit and white bread was nice. I definitely did not overeat calories, or eat junk. I had no cookies, cake , candy, ice cream, chips. But I did not balance my carbs and protein.

Today I am back on plan, even though I do not feel 100%. After over a week of being sick, you start to believe you will never feel normal again!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Hot 100

Joining in the Hot 100.

Here are my 3 goals for 2010.

1. Achieve total loss of 40 lbs, to reach 175 by December 31st.

2. Eat Clean 90% of the time.

3. Work out with trainer to go from 41% body fat to 33% body fat (I don't know if this reasonable).

Check out Hot 100 !

Cold Season is Here

Last week was freakin' awesome in two respects
1. I met my 2nd mini goal, 20 lbs lost!
2. Went to Open House at my older son's new school. It is a school for kids with language learning disabilities, he is 11. After a horrendous experience in the school in the local district, this school is working out SO well. The teachers love him, he loves it. He works hard, and has responsibilities. He is being the kid I always knew he was. Relief does not even begin to cover how I feel. It is like I have been carrying a huge weight (maybe 80 lbs, LOL) for the past 6 years, and now I have hope that it will lift.

On the down side, I had a phlegmy cough all week, finally went to the doctor because I have a history of pneumonia. My lungs are fine, it may be a sinus infection. Now I caught my son's cold on top of it. Yuck. It has put a damper on my exercise for sure.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Rock Star Dreams

I reached my 2nd goal, one day early! I am at 195, 20.5 lbs lost. My reward is guitar lessons. Yes, I have rock star aspirations :). My next goal is a small one in pounds, but big in meaning. At 191 lbs I will be under BMI 30. Now, don't tell me the BMI measurement is a crock. I really don't care. Most categories have arbitrary cutoffs. I can accept that at 191 I will be merely "overweight", and it will be a nice place to visit, but not for long!
My reward for that will be new perfume. I believe in treating myself well.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I have already given up on Allan's challenge to post twice per day. It just isn't me, and I am too old to do stuff that isn't me. I am glad other people do it though, because it gives me reading material.
On the plus side, I am now 1 lb away from my next goal, which will be 20 lbs lost.
And I want to give myself special credit for resisting the "healthy" biscotti at my favorite Italian store. I stopped there for olive oil and nuts, super cheap in bulk.
Some people can't resist ice cream, potato chips, whatever.
For me is it biscotti. Oh those dry crumbly pieces of heaven with coffee or wine.
But alas, not on my plan, no matter how much oatmeal or dried cranberries are in them.

Sunday, September 19, 2010


Complain : Being sore after working out is expected but this is ridiculous. Sitting to use the bathroom is a real challenge, and that is seriously inconvenient.

Proclaim : 197.5 on the scale today, and I expect to never see 200 again.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Post #2

Well earlier I said I was very sore.
I am almost non functioning at this point, plus battling itchy, drippy throat. Bedtime is looking pretty good.


Taking Allan's challenge to post twice a day.
I am always browsing around blogland multiple times per day, but don't post much since I rarely have anything much to say.
Today I am supersore from working out. To the point that squatting to pick something up is a real task.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Hate, is what I feel

When working out with my personal trainer. But hey! At least I have the money for a personal trainer. I started this week, and it is so way different than working out by yourself.

I am 198 lbs today, 1.5 down from last Friday, although not the lowest weight this week. Still striving for 195.5 next Friday, which will bring me to 20 lbs lost.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Eat Clean

Just read through Tosca Reno's Eat-Clean Diet Recharged, and loved it. I know a lot of you are familiar with "Eating Clean", and I am too, but I always hated the literature out there on it. Most books make it sound like a punishment, hers make it sound like a wonderful opportunity. Most books give lots of numbers about body composition etc, which frankly I don't give a rat's ass about.

I ate (mostly) "clean" yesterday... it was not much of a stretch, since a lot of the really bad stuff I had mostly given up anyway in the interest of counting calories.
I have not given up on counting calories. Never give up what works! But I will do the two in conjunction. While I have been losing weight at exactly my goal pace, I still don't feel as "good" as I would like.

After one day of eating according to this plan I feel more energetic, and I am two pounds away from my goal weight for Sept 24. 197.5, for a total of 18 lbs lost. My jeans are starting to slide off me, and I will be ready for size 14 soon. I had been heading straight for size 18.

I am doing this!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Getting on my high horse

On this anniversary, here is some food for thought.

9-11 Widows

If these women can respond to tragedy in this way, can't we respond to stress in a way that does not involve inhaling food?

That is all.

Friday, September 10, 2010

200, behind me

Woke up today to 199.5 on the scale. So cool! I will see 200 again I sure, because I always have slight rise before further loss, but still a great way to start a Friday.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

On the Right Track

Woke up today to 200 lb, so I am on track for 195 by Sept 25. I need new jeans and would sincerely love to be able to buy a smaller size.
I have been sticking to my plan the past two days very closely. I have no intention of stopping.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


But I don't eat that much! How many times have you heard/said that? Well the truth is that at 42 years old, I don't need to eat that much to stay at 202 lbs. The BMR calculator says 1646 calories for my height/weight/age.
I know the BMR calculator is not 100% accurate, and does not take into account exercise. That is not the point. Especially as we age, it does not take many calories to stay overweight. It is pretty easy to eat 1700 calories, approx, without eating junk food, and without gorging.
That is just the facts. Facts that are conveniently forgotten.

More numbers : my waist is 41 inches, my hips are 45 inches.

I had a good eating and exercise day yesterday. The scale says 202, still, but I plan to see 200 by end of the week.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Slippery Slope

No net gain or loss this week. Although I did not have extraordinary slipups this past week, I did not adhere to my plan as I should have. Although I did not gain weight, I feel that I am poised on that slippery slope where I just throw in the towel. Not with lots of drama ... just quietly going back to old habits.
So I have to focus on the question : Do I really want to be fat? Do I want to live, and eventually die, this way?
If I don't do what I need to do to lose weight, then the answer is "yes".

It was an unusually stressful week ... kids going back to school, including older son starting a new school for kids with disabilities. He now has a 10 hour day, including 1 hour commute each way. He is a trooper about it, and upbeat.

That week is now in the past. This week is new, and I am starting off strong today. 320 calories so far, including some veggies.

Also, I joined a 10,000 step a day challenge at work. Yesterday I had approx 10 K steps, including my typical workout at the track.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Sweet Little Lies

What little lies, or big fat lies, do you tell yourself?

All these years I have been telling myself how much I LOVE food, as if I love the taste of it more than other people do.

I have found in the past few months that I really don't love it as much as I thought I did. I guess I loved shoving it in my mouth when I couldn't think of what else to do. Many times recently I have been hungry and cannot think of one thing I really want to eat. I don't mean one healthy thing, or one low calorie thing. I mean one anything. It's just food.

And as of today, I am 1 lb away from 15 lbs lost.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

September Goals

In the past 9 weeks I have lost 13 pounds. I am currently at 202, and am setting my goal to be down to 195 in 4 weeks, by September 25th. That is a little aggressive, but I know I can do it.
It is also time to get serious about exercise goals. I have exercised quite a bit over the summer, but not with the kind of regularity I am shooting for.
So for September I am targeting : 2 days at the gym with weights ; 3 sessions at the track (or treadmill if I absolutely cannot get out during daylight) ; 1 bike ride on the weekend ; at least 1 karate class.

More blogs!

Thanks to Shane for pointing me to new (to me ) bloggers:
Dr. F and Michele ....

Following bloggers and posting to my own blog is playing a big part in sticking to my initiative. It is good to know that although technology has played a big part in super sizing America, it can also be one tool towards a healthier life.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Vacation Damage? Not!

I was very excited to step on the scale and discover I am only .5 lbs heavier than last Friday. I am also looking forward to returning to my fitnesspal, and tomorrow getting back to regular exercise. Now I am off to work!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Vacation Damage

Last Friday, I weighed in and was at a new low ... 202.5. This past week we spent at the beach in Delaware. I did not count calories but did not gorge either. I bypassed many of the staples of previous vacations ... sweet rolls & muffins at the breakfast buffets, daily ice cream cones, etc. I did indulge in a nightly drink at dinner, mostly wine, but one margarita at a place where the margaritas are awesome! Split french fries with my kids at a couple of meals. Tomorrow I will see what I gained, if anything. I am not worried about it though, I have no doubt I will be right back on track.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Frankly, I don't give a damn

About chocolate. There is another thing I could give up, maybe forever. Now..... I don't mean chocolate cake. No way, I'm not giving that up. But chocolate candy? Yes.

What is this conspiracy that makes women think they must worship chocolate to be real women?

When I was *trying* to lose weight, I would allow myself one square of dark chocolate at night. But I don't really like it! That was dumb.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Because this isn't a Charles Dickens novel ....

Every day it is easy to find something to give up.

Today's find : my kids' crusts of bread. I haven't given up Tuscan bread (yet); however, if I am going to eat it I will eat "real" slices only that can be easily measured.

Eating the crusts of others, while delicious (the crust is the best part), is totally unnecessary.

Sunday, August 15, 2010


Is how I feel. Not related to weight, just that kind of day. Hey we're not living in a perfect world!
Sunday afternoon used to be my prime time for a nice glass of wine while I cooked dinner. Instead I guzzled coffee. It will not keep me awake, because even nuclear war cannot do that.
Said dinner sucked. The chicken was undercooked, and had a weird texture. Hopefully it will not cause explosive diarrhea. Although the bruschetta with homegrown lemon lime basil was delicious.
Oh well, tomorrow is another day, even Scarlett O Hara knew that.
AND, today was my lowest weight since starting - 204.5.
AND I got out on my new bike this morning.

Dreaded Pictures

I figure I will want progress pictures for this weight loss journey so here is my first.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

What Got You Here

Won't get you there.

I am going to have to radically change my habits to get where I want to go. Blame middle age, being female, whatever. Just kinda sorta watching what I eat is not going to cut it.

So here is my new commitment. I am giving up alcohol at home. We eat out about once a week, and I will have one drink out, but no wine or beer or manhattans at home. All of which I love passionately. If you are not a person who drinks, this may sound like no big deal to you, but for me it is. I was never a heavy drinker, but I have drunk a glass of wine (sometimes 2) every night for many years, so I am a regular drinker, I suppose.
I am not giving it up just because of the calories, but also because it has an adverse affect on my plans for running.

It is just habit. It is just a drink.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Committment is a Process

In the past 2 weeks I have not lost weight, in fact I have gained 2 pounds. I did not want to post this information ... as if hiding it (from myself) would make it not true.

But committment is a process, we have to re commit ourselves every day. I hereby recommit myself to losing weight. Sure it is great that I lost 10 lbs, but when you have a lot to lose the first 10 are super easy. How often have I lost 10 lbs, just to regain it PLUS 10 more. Well, let's see. Often enough to get from 135 to 215.

Now is not the time to give up. Tracking and controlling what I eat is actually getting easier. I believe I can do this.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

What is Hard?

Today is my older son's 11th birthday. He is a great kid! He also has neuro impairment & developmental delay. 11 years ago today he got "stuck", he was deprived of oxygen and had seizures after birth. The day he was born the doctor told us he might not live through the night.
Well he did live, and in many ways has done so well. But his language impairments make every day hard for him : in school, in sports, just in hanging with other kids.
I am not writing this to rehash history, or to spark pity for me or for him. Everyone has their problems.

But, when I look at how he has to struggle every day, I ask ... how hard is it just to eat less? If he has to work so hard every day, just to get by, is it really that hard for me to cut calories, work out, drink more water?

Not that losing weight is easy. If it was easy everyone would do it ... which is what I say about losing weight and about why our systems at work are not perfect. But all things are relative.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's Just Food

Do you have a mantra? I played around with a few ... like "Food is Fuel", and they did not work for me. Probably because I am not using food as fuel yet. Now I am trying out "It's Just Food". This comes in handy when there is junk lying around work (french crullers, I love you), or at a restaurant where I feel like overeating just to shove food in my mouth.
Eventually I want food to be fuel. Allan makes some good points about suspect "diet plans". I could say "I lost 10 lbs eating brownies and drinking wine!" And it would be true. But. 1) I have been building up running at the track. To really make progress I will have to treat food as fuel. And wine, while delicious, is not fuel. 2) My current diet got me from 215 to 205. It will not get me to my goal.
At first (a few weeks ago) 1500 calories seemed unthinkably low to me. But today I could have gotten by on 1200 (I didn't ... I had a snack). Really, it is just food.

Monday, August 9, 2010

1440, I hate you

Today I decided to dig in my heels and really strive for my new calorie limit of
1440. Didn't quite make it ... about 50 calories over.
So I look over what I ate today, and ask ... is there anything I would not eat, given a do over.
Maybe the crusts from my kids Tuscan Bread? Nah, they were delicious!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Family that Brushes Together ...

I have 2 boys, ages 11 and 7. Like many kids that age, they think that brushing their teeth consists of putting a brush in their mouthes and chewing on it. This does not lead to good dental health. So now I brush my teeth when they brush theirs at their bedtime. They mimic me and brush longer. And since I don't eat after they go to bed, I might as well brush then. Right? Right!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

No Good Deed ....

Today myfitnesspal said "Congratulations! (for 10 lb loss) Do you want to recalculate your goals?"

I said "Sure!"
So it deducted 60 calories from my daily allotment! LOL, for real.

It was not that it was totally unexpected, it just struck me as funny. That is my prize :)

Monday, August 2, 2010

Reward Time!

Having reached my first goal, I am rewarding myself with a new bike. I have a bike, but it is way too small (built for a much shorter person than I) and I cannot ride it more than 20 minutes. I have a long way to go, but you gotta start somewhere. Also had a great night at the track, and felt better running than I have since last summer. Gloating in a happy moment!

First Goal Met!

I will post more later, but I am very excited to report I have met my first goal of 10 lbs lost! At 205.5 this morning.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

That's Some High Quality H2O

Today is the day I start overcoming my resistance to drinking water. I have no idea why I find it so hard to consume water, it is ridiculous. I will start small, with a goal of 32 oz today.

Friday, July 30, 2010

No Joy from the Scale Today

Well, I was hoping to reach 10 lbs lost by today, but am at a net of 8.5 lost. I was 1 lb less today than yesterday, and I was good about limiting calories during the week. It was a challenging week ... very tired after last weekend traveling, and had some appts this week that kept me busy. I am not really discouraged. I will get there!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Self Doubt

I am almost 5 weeks into my weight loss quest. For the first time yesterday I had thoughts of self doubt. "I won't be able to lose this weight" Where do these thoughts come from? I am one pound away from my first goal (10 lbs). I had a bit of a weight gain over the weekend (I did indulge a bit), but no different from the previous three weekends. There are so many things I HAVE done in my life, of course I will be able to do this too.
I am sure these same thoughts were a factor in my previous (failed) weight loss attempts, but this is the first time I really made note of them. And blogged them. That is what makes this time different!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Back on the Horse

Had a wonderful time at my 25th class reunion. While I did not gorge at all, I didn't count calories either. Starting at lunch today, I began to tally what I was eating. I am hungry now, but nothing a cup of 0 cal tea and early bedtime won't solve.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Weigh in day

My original goal was to lose 10 lbs by today. Well I lost 9 , which is not too shabby! I did overeat tonight, but I can hardly regret it ... my homemade pizza was extra delicious. But I am done eating for the night, and I know I will be at my first goal by next Friday.
Tomorrow is my 25th class reunion, and I will splurge a bit on a nice drink (manhattan is my favorite), but will go easy on the food. After all I am not there to go whole hog on food, but to catch up with old friends.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Things I Hate to Admit

I always brushed off diet advice involving stopping eating at a certain time in the evening. Why? Well, because I like to eat late at night of course! And the truth is I still don't really believe that it matters when you eat your food. If you eat 1500 calories during the day, and 200 of that is at 9, or whenever, it shouldn't matter.

Yet ... I do think weight comes off more easily when I don't eat after dinner (we eat late-ish, simply because of our work schedules). I really think it has more to do with accepting that there are limits, rather than the 100 calories I would like to eat after the kids are in bed.

I do want "something special" when the kids have gone to bed (again late-ish, that is just our habits), so I have been having a cup of hot tea. No calories, the heat is satisfying, and tea is not something I drink during the day.

Do you like to eat late at night?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Fear of being Foodless

Yesterday I had a new low on the scale since starting this journey (207.5 for 8 lbs lost in 25 days). It was great to see! The day before I had posted about my indulgence in a dunkin donuts bagel. Now, the bagel itself is not what bothered me. I am not avoiding carbs, or even high calorie treats (although it will be long time until I have another blizzard!). What bothered me is why I bought and ate it. I was driving to a training session at a facility where I had been in the past. I remembered that there wasn't much to offer in terms of lunch in the near vicinity. Somewhere in my head was a nagging fear ... what if I don't eat enough at breakfast, cannot get a decent lunch, and STARVE! Now this fear is beyond ridiculous because 1) there are vending machines, 2) I have a car and can drive minutes away to get something for lunch, and 3) surely I would survive being lunchless, if absolutely necessary, for one day.
A couple of years ago, I bought the book "The Beck Diet Solution". Although it was not my solution, it recommended an interesting experiment where you do not eat between 8 am and 5 pm. While this is not a good daily strategy, it is effective in teaching you that no, you will not die if you miss a meal.
How much overeating have I done because of irrational fear of being hungry in the future? Do you find yourself doing this?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Indulgent moment

Today, I had to travel across the city for offsite training, and had to get on the road much earlier than usual (after a horrible night's sleep) For some reason, that compelled me to get a dunkin donuts bagel with cream cheese (I had already eaten cereal and fruit at home) on the way. Half the day's calories before 8 am? Ouch! I recovered ok, but I won't be doing that again anytime soon. It tasted good, but not 500 calories worth of good. Ahh those changes in routine.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Well, this week the scale was not quite so kind, a few ups and downs, and yesterday I was at 210, a lb up from last week. However, I am learning alot about managing my food intake, and even a 5 lb (net) loss has me feeling better and more energetic. Today was a great day ... went to a friend's house to swim in the pool. My oldest son (who has some neurological problems and developmental delays) shocked us all by swimming in the deep end .. we had no idea he could, and I even tried to convince him he couldn't. LOL.
Last night we went to Don Pablo's my most favoritest Mex restaurant. I ate 6 tortilla chips, and relished them. I used to eat maybe 30? 1000 calories right there. I do enjoy food, and I am going to prove I can enjoy it in moderation and still lose weight.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Weigh in

Woo hoo! Friday was weigh in day, and I have lost 6 lbs in 2 weeks. Tonight I went to the track and for the first time in a long while my legs ached not at all. Great weekend!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Well I have not been doing so well with blogging, but I have been doing well with tracking my calories. We switched to a new scale which weighs both my husband and me at .5 higher. Taking that into account I have lost 3.5 lbs in about 2 weeks. We always wish for more, but it is a start.

I have been really paying attention to whether I feel hungry. It is surprising how much less you can eat, and still feel fairly satisfied. I have reached my calorie limit for the day, and I am a *little* hungry but certainly not ravenous. And if I get ravenous, I will just go to bed!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Feeling Positive

I am feeling much more in control today. Using myfitnesspal on iPhone has been really helpful. It makes me realize that controlling my food intake is so do-able. I am fortunate that I have never been much of a binger, but hey, when at every meal and snack you eat 50 percent more than you should, it adds up. It is a matter of sticking with it, even when it is boring and inconvenient.
I am not a terribly unhealthy eater, it is much more portion control. I absolutely do have room for improvement with what I eat, but for the first couple weeks I will be focusing on achieving calorie limits.
I have been exercising quite a bit ... run/walk at the track, weights at the fitness center, karate ... and it is great to see the exercise bump up my calorie allotment on myfitnesspal. I have been conservative with inputting exercise. I don't want to overestimate calories burned. Today I did not use all the extra calories from exercise, but I am definitely not hungry now.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Day of Reckoning

So, I decided Friday would be weigh in day.
I haven't weighed myself in awhile, but my clothes had been feeling a little tight. Last year at this time I was about 205 lbs. The scale said 215. I was not just depressed, or disappointed. I was really scared when I saw that number. The sense of being out of control was overwhelming. Where will the weight gain stop?

Step #1 : Accountability. Blogging is a great way to achieve this. Thank God for technology. Also, I got the myfitnesspal app on my iPhone (free!), and am addicted to logging my foods. Although the weekend is not the easiest time to control food intake, I did pretty well by watching my portions. And today I am 214.

On myfitnesspal, I set my goal weight as 135. Pretty ambitious, but might as well dream big for the long term goal.

Short term, I want to lose 10 lbs by July 24, and fit into size 14 by August 31.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Day 1

I am 42 years old. I have struggled with weight my whole life, and have had ups and downs weight-wise, but in the past 5 years I have consistently hovered above 200. I am ready to face the big questions of why I use eating as a refuge, and I am still considering my weight goals, both short and long term. I know that losing weight in itself will not make me happy ... when I weighed 33% less than I do now I still did not like myself.
This blog will be pretty bare bones, at least at the beginning. Weight loss may not be fast, but I need accountability now! As I enter the 2nd part of my life, I am ready to break free of this weight trap.