About Me

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Pittsburgh, PA, United States
Six years ago I decided (age) 42 would be my magic number. I stepped on the scale for the first time in a LONG time. It was a BIG number, it was a SCARY number, but mostly I knew I had to own that number. I lost 40 pounds, leaving the obese category behind. In 2014 I committed myself to working out HARD and a low sugar diet, losing more weight and gaining nice definition. Then life happened, and I lost momentum, gaining some weight back. My goals now are different, and include completing my first ever marathon at age 48. GULP! You can read about the next part of my journey here.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Comfortably Numb

I have been thinking alot about my next steps (if any) in weight loss. One topic I tend to avoid on my blog, and quite frankly in real life, is my emotions. I am just not terribly comfortable dwelling on my emotions (insert Oprah-esque comment here about "eating your emotions").
And actually I do not think that dwelling insufferably on every emotion you have is a good idea -- for weight loss, or anything else.
But ....
While I was able to lose 44 lbs mostly by the same ol' same ol' of eat less, move more (no rocket science here), I do believe I need to do a bit more mental / psychological work to go further.
This may seem counterintuitive, but I am taking a short hiatus from exercise. In a way exercise has become another way to numb myself. Last night instead of going to the gym, I relaxed at home and ... allowed myself to think (while painting my toenails bronze and reading a book about Zen). It actually made me anxious. I have become terribly uncomfortable with "downtime". And that is a bad thing.
I have no concerns that I will not get back to exercise. I have come to love it too much. But it can't just be another way to "not think". Certainly a healthier choice than not thinking via a bag of Doritos, but not the way to get to my ultimate goal.

2 comments:

Munchberry said...

No thinking while exercising? Where does your mind go when left to its own devices (answer to yourself - natch)? Can you tippy toe to that place and then maybe write it out. Long hand so you have to think about it? You could stop and go busy yourself when you feel like it and return to it when the mood strikes.

Nanette said...

Have you considered doing a ten minute down time before your workout so you can grab an emotion and feel it while you go? Of course maybe after you've gotten past the exercise hiatus.

Thanks for your comment today. It's nice to know that there's someone else who's similar as far as all that emotion is concerned! :)