About Me

My photo
Pittsburgh, PA, United States
Six years ago I decided (age) 42 would be my magic number. I stepped on the scale for the first time in a LONG time. It was a BIG number, it was a SCARY number, but mostly I knew I had to own that number. I lost 40 pounds, leaving the obese category behind. In 2014 I committed myself to working out HARD and a low sugar diet, losing more weight and gaining nice definition. Then life happened, and I lost momentum, gaining some weight back. My goals now are different, and include completing my first ever marathon at age 48. GULP! You can read about the next part of my journey here.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Watch Your Language

Four years ago, when I started losing weight, I set 3 progressive weight loss goals.  To reach a) 165, b) 150, and c) 135.  The numbers were simply lower weights I was at at various times in my life.  In 2010, I was 80 pounds away from 135 and I didn't focus on that number at all.  I took it one day at a time, one pound at a time.  The first 40 pounds came off relatively quickly, and then in the summer of 2012 I reached 165.  And stayed there for approximately 24 hours.

The first thought I had when I reached 165 was "Well I reached my first goal but it is going to be HARD, so HARD to get to 135."

With that one word I created my reality, and spent the next two years traveling the scale from 170 to 175 and down again,  When I bumped above 175, I felt fear ... I don't want to go back to where I was.  When I got close to 170, I felt fear ... I don't want to give up food as a crutch to go lower, it's too HARD.

I have no idea if I will ever be 135 pounds again, but if I am not it is not because it is HARD to get there.

Another word I'm relinquishing is SAD, as it applies to situations. People can feel sad, situations are not sad in and of themselves.  If I'm sad, then I'm sad. You can't unfeel a feeling.  If I call a situation SAD, I've created a reality that has nothing to do with truth, just with a story I chose to spin.  If I call another person's situation SAD, I've presumed to pass judgment on what is none of my damn business.

I've experimented with "positive mantras" -- "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people LIKE ME!!!" is the famous SNL example -- and truthfully I hate them with a passion.  Now I look for moments of Wordless Whimsical Curiosity.  You don't know what the hell is going to happen, but it just might be awesome.

We are so quick to slap labels on a future that is really wide open.  We might be amazed at what comes to us when we leave words behind.

No comments: